A truly important reason that we have started this endeavour is because we understand the daily struggles of living with ADHD. We have put together two different self help modules targeting ADHD symptoms of Impulsivity and also Planning & Organisation. The below written piece was given to us to share (thank you!), it demonstrated to us the wide ranging impact of ADHD and also the importance of supporting people to develop skills - in whatever way they deem appropriate. If 1:1 work isn't for you, our self help programmes may be the right move.
Living with ADHD - by anonymous
I believe I have achieved what I have in life because of my ADHD NOT despite it. In some ways ADHD can be a “Super Power” but it comes at one hell of a cost…... I have spent most of my adult life working 24/7 like a hamster in a wheel. The standards I have placed upon myself just to keep others from discovering that I’m not worthy (Imposter Syndrome) have been so high I have had to work twice as hard and twice as long as my colleagues to maintain them. Yes, I have achieved considerably in my chosen fields but my lack of self-belief has prevented me from achieving much more.
As a child I always felt “different,” Others appeared to sail through life with such ease and confidence whilst I was shy, clumsy, and afraid of my own shadow. It took me years longer than my peers to learn how to tie my shoe laces, ride a bicycle or manage to swim unaided. I was scared to play too far from home because I had no sense of direction and I frequently got lost. I found making friends difficult and always felt on the outside of my peer groups. I struggled with my emotions and found myself in tears on an almost daily basis. At school I found English and History interesting and I achieved excellent grades in these subjects. Games were a complete nightmare. I was always one of the ones who never got picked, I had no coordination and could not grasp the rules. In hockey and netball, I could never even keep up with which goal we were meant to be shooting in so I just ran up and down daydreaming never actually getting involved. I felt stupid and alone.
Maths and Science were impossible subjects for me. I can add up a long list of numbers in my head, no problem but in maths lessons I could never follow the rules of long division, fractions, percentages, algebra, it was all gibberish to me. After many appeals to my maths teacher to explain things again and again he gave up on me and maths lessons were spent just gazing dreamily out of the window. In sewing lessons my teacher gave up showing me how to thread my sewing machine so I had to spend two whole years of double period sewing lessons just staring at it. I became so discouraged I blamed the teachers for not helping me and I began to mess around often getting sent out of lessons for being chatty and disruptive.
I left school with very few exams feeling that my grades were not an accurate reflection of my intelligence, I just could not understand why I was not like the other kids or why they kept picking on me. My self-esteem was at the bottom of the ocean.
My Teenage years were miserable. Lack of confidence and co-ordination meant that I watched from the sidelines as my peers were having the time of their lives playing sports, going to discos; dancing and having fun. I started shorthand and typing lessons however I forgot what I had learnt the lesson before so it was a complete waste of time. When I was seventeen, my father paid for thirty-six two hour driving lessons at the end of which my driving instructor said I had no aptitude for driving and he would never let me use his car to take my test in. (After 3 attempts I passed my driving test)
As I became an adult, I developed so many compensatory behaviours for my ADHD one by one they just layered up until I became that hamster in a wheel……...Fanatical about housework, a place for everything, everything in its place, writing constant lists trying to maintain the appearance that I was superwoman. Arriving at work an hour before my colleagues so I could get on in the peace and quiet of an empty office. As soon as others arrived, their voices, the office radio and phones ringing became constant distractions so I was unable to concentrate. When I had to attend out of office meetings I frequently ended up in tears because I had lost my way and was going to be late. If I asked someone for directions, I lost concentration after the second command, I would nod as if I had understood and thank them for their help but I could never follow their directions. Map reading is also a skill I have never mastered as are bus time tables. Just the other day I could see the frustration in my husband’s face as he tried to explain a number puzzle in the paper to me for the third time. Technology is my Nemesis I can never remember passwords or find my way safely around the complexities of a computer to the extent I now avoid them at all costs. At work I always had someone who was computer confident to ask and I’d write down their instructions and try to follow them to the letter but I always messed up and get locked out after losing the notes I had made.
Consequently, my stress levels went through the roof and I spent many hours shedding tears of frustration desperate to keep up the appearance that I was good at my job.
In my late fifties, when it was suggested to me that I may have ADHD I thought the idea ridiculous, I had as much idea about ADHD as I did Latin so I dismissed the idea immediately. After reading countless articles, books and listening to talks on the subject I approached my GP and she agreed that it was very likely I had and referred me for an assessment.
Now all the years of being misdiagnosed with depression are behind me and I understand why my whole life had felt like I was trying to juggle a dozen tennis balls at once without dropping one. I understand why I am unable to sit through a full-length feature film, finish a book, understand, and follow simple instructions on how to use a household appliance and why I am constantly nursing injuries from walking into doorways or banging my head on shelves. I also understand why colleagues may have found my constant interruptions, lack of social skills, loudness, and excitable exuberance irritating.
In conclusion, my ADHD has caused me to have to work extra hard in numerous areas of my life however as I said at the beginning of this piece, I believe ADHD is also my Super power. It has enabled me to be passionate and energised about subjects that hold my attention driving me to achieve my goals in the workplace. It has enabled me to be creative, enthusiastic, and energised; facilitating my creative writing. I also believe it has blessed me with a heightened sense of empathy toward others which has led to a successful career in supporting people.
I believe understanding how ADHD has affected me has enabled me to learn ways of overcoming those difficulties which in turn has enabled me to identify and harness the inner strengths it has also blessed me with.
Anonymous
Managing impulsivity
Impulsivity is characterised as a difficulty in self regulation and managing behaviours. Although there can be helpful aspects to this as you may be spontaneous, a risk taker, fun to be around but there can certainly be disadvantages also such as; difficulty maintaining plans, getting bored by tasks easily and possibly upsetting others.
There are various parts of the brain involved in assessing and managing information, but also in our responses (emotional/behavioural). There is recognition that there is a slowing down of information being shared between parts of the brain, this can impact increased impulsive behaviour.
Examples of impulsive behaviours (this list is not exhaustive):
-Buying things in the moment
-Building up debt/not being able to pay for other things
-Starting tasks but leaving them incomplete
-Missing deadlines
-Making simple mistakes due to rushing
-Interrupting others/speaking over them
-Saying things without thinking
-Getting speeding fines
-Drinking excessively or taking drugs
We can help you understand what is keeping you stuck and how to engage in new strategies to start to manage these symptoms.
Organisation and time management
Do you ever notice that you have the best intentions but organising and planning ahead is a daily struggle?
Sometimes time feels like it moves too fast or too slow?
How do you experience time?
ADHD impacts attention and our brains executive function, this means our tricky brains can impact how and what we do, despite our best intentions.
Key behaviours seen in people with ADHD can be starting tasks but not completing, procrastination and under-estimation of time that tasks take (to name a few). This can lead to a sense of failure and missed opportunities - all of which impact our self esteem.
Time is best seen as a tool for you to use, it can be used to help you manage your days/tasks and achievements. Rather that rely on your memory or old ways of working, maybe simple time management strategies could help.
Behavioural based work is about breaking tasks down, then using a diary to plan and prioritise tasks. Rather than wait for motivation to come to us before we start making change, it is about working from the 'outside in', so this means plan and do the task, then see how you feel afterwards.
When our minds are so busy, there are difficulties with our own executive functioning, using simple tools that we can offer can help us start to effect a change and if consistently practised then this will become more automatic. Remember you likely know what will help but ADHD may impact putting your intentions into action - this is where we can help.
This is also true of the importance of planning in self care, meal planning. If we have a plan of what we need to do this week or even tomorrow, we can start to prepare and plan ahead, reducing avoidance and possible impulsivity.
Our workbooks also focus on setting realistic goals and problem solving skills
We can all find ourselves making important decisions in our lives. At times we may find that problem solving is difficult, whether this is due too worry, the unexpected nature of the problem, or as a result of impulsive actions already taken.
Problem solving in ADHD can be especially difficult. Sometimes the better longer term solution is deferred as a 'quick fix' is actioned. At other times it is hard to retain the possible solutions due to attention and distraction. There are many possible reasons that problem solving can be difficult to implement without support. However, there are some really helpful simple tools which can be put in place to support you to have a methodical strategy to cope with life's difficulties - however big or small!
Problem solving technique features in both of our workbooks on organisation/time management and impulsivity.
If you can recognise one or all of these behaviours, especially if they are impacting your life, then starting to make some changes may be beneficial. If you would like a make a start, our impulsivity/organisation planning guides are available and you will have accountability check in messages weekly. You can always opt for further support after this if you require.
Download our digital workbooks now for ADHD, with helpful strategies for executive function.
All you need to do is register, make payment and we will get the workbooks to you via email.
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